Change...good but never comfortable...

Well when you ask the most high to help you be a better person or to accomplish some goals be prepared to be put in a compromising position. This position will make you decide to be uncomfortable or stay the same. This message is dedicated to those of us guilty of praying for something and not hearing what you want to hear or nor hearing things that are easily accomplished.

Are we all just liars?

Recently, images of a so-called fallen hero have been all over the internet and news. Lance...oh Lance. How we wanted to believe you.  But your teammates have betrayed you! He is apparently not going to own up to doping. His cry of "I've never tested positive" is reminiscent of Marion Jones.  Another liar. But at least (when she had no choice really) she admitted it and paid the price. And now on e verge of the election, we get all these political ads that are all full of half truths....on every side. Mr. President, you promised this....and Gov Romney you claimed to be able to relate to the working class due to your struggles as and unemployed (living off of trust funds) young husband. More. Lies.

I can't help but think these are are perceived and elected and elevated heros and leaders. From pastors to those we trust with our children and money, we choose these chronic decepticons...I mean deception specialists. Do we choose these folks because we are ALL liars? I mean I try to be honest all the time but I lie to myself the most.... I'm going to the gym to work off this cheesecake brûlée. Then I'm going to make a budget and stick to it and stay out of Nordstrom's until my birthday? If the truth will make us free....are we all victims of our own comfortable imprisonment? Well I think I'm going to make a break for it. I shall try to tell myself one simple truth at least once a week. Then address it or accept it. Now I have to question....did I just lie to myself again.......or am I slowly chipping away at my prison wall?

Spring Blogging....er Logging myself to a Better Me.

I am trying to better myself. So I found a free (temporarily anyway) self improvement plan online over at: http://personalexcellence.co/challenges/category/30bbm/.

It suggested that when going though the self improvement process that sharing with friends is a vital part of changing yourself. I guess I agree since even though I want to think grand of myself, let's face it: we all want others to perceive us the way we *think* we are projecting ourselves. I have fallen off blogging but since I hear that journaling is all the rage and that expressing ones self daily is supposed to be good for the soul, I figured I'd use my blog as an open journal to assist me in this process.

Clearly I have a procrastination problem because I've been meaning to start this and now the darn thing isn't free.
It was free when I found it in December. Who knew procrastinating would cost me money?

Any way the whole purpose to this online journaling is to log progress and to share it and get comments from people who know me and are honest and have my best interest at heart.

Best case scenario is that I could get a group of friends to do this with me and share their own progress. Any takers? :-)

Worst Week Ever!

This week has been too much! Monday.. .all those people lost their lives in the metro accident....& their families pain was enough to have me into a whole bottle of wine...after I sat on the train thanking God that all that happened to me was a 90 minute delay on the red line. I didn't know exactly why we were delayed. All our train operator said was, "something or someone was struck by a train." That shut everyone up about the delay because we were all just glad to not be involved in an accident. I didn't even see the wreckage until the walk home.

Later in the week read in the paper that Ed McMahon died at 86 (ok well he was old and prolly ready to go) but still it ain't happy news! Keep on trucking through the week and Farrah Fawcett dying at 62. OK that was a sad...her only child in jail and can't come and see her and her long time love finally proposing at a point where she can't even respond. I was shaking my head on the train when we stop in a tunnel and the lights and air conditioning turn off as we are delayed. So I'm bored and pull out my phone to see a million texts and get a phone call about the King of Pop going into cardiac arrest. WHAT!? Gone at 50. 50! Too young. I wasn't really sad at first. I figured he wasn't happy so it is better that he not suffer anymore. Same with the Charlie's Angel icon. All that pain to keep enduring would be too much for anyone. Ole Ed was the oldest and probably had the best and most normal personal life and the least amount of drama and controversy and of course fame.

So I am home looking up stuff and I found this quote about MJ:

By the early 1980's, he was deeply unhappy; Jackson explained, "Even at home, I'm lonely. I sit in my room sometimes and cry. It's so hard to make friends...I sometimes walk around the neighborhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home."

And this is what broke me. This man was immensely blessed with talent and no one around him was his REAL friend. No one! So this just broke me up.

And what about the family left behind? Especially the kids. This week exposes the silliness and selfishness that people had been doing to make their kids lives difficult as the foolishness that it is. Not to mention the other kids/parents (John & Kate 8 children or that fool in South Carolina's 4 boys) in the news this week can actually do something about their situation unlike the finality of death. Kids have lost parents and parents have lost children. (Farrah's father did visit her recently at 91 he has outlived both of his daughters)

That being said I'm glad I got friends. I can't moon walk. No one wants to see me in a pin-up in a one piece orange swimsuit. I can't sing and dance at the same time and put on a show. My hair may have never set fashion trends. I am happy and I always have friends to talk to. But I think out of all the tragedies have happened this week I will take the positive notes that I can find.

1. The driver, Jeanice McMillan, of the train that crash (who some speculated was using her phone) did die in the accident but her action of paying attention and applying the brakes saved lives. She is a fallen Hero.
2. There has been an outpouring of love and prayer for those who lost their lives and loved ones in Monday's tragic accident. People are still capable of sympathy and empathy.
3. It seems people are putting a greater value on friendship...I mean Farrah and MJ's deaths are tragic and when you think of them you think of tumultuous relationships...ole Ed though...you think of him & his pal Johnny and him living till a ripe old age of 86 with family friends and loved ones. This is a reality check for our priorities in life.
4. We are responsible to our friends to help them be the best they can be and not let them go into self destruction mode.
5. People are (if only for a temporary period of time) seeing the value of life and living life in every moment. Not waiting for someone you love to fall ill before you express love (or propose marriage)
6. Every age group can identify with the American celebrities that have left us to hopefully a better place and reminisce on the soundtrack or laugh track or backdrop to our individual lives.
   

Bull Riding!

I have long since been a casual follower of bull riding. Normally I cheer for the bull. This Saturday night, me and some home-girls decided to get up on that thang.....so to speak and ride a mechanical bull. I guess growing up across the street form cow pasture must have giving me the vision that I could stay atop that damn machine. That and watching Debra Winger in Urban Cowboy be all sessy (yes I MEANT to spell it that way) on that thang! I envisioned me a chocolate version of that......but as I watched chick after chick try to be all sexy and not even be able to get on the thing....I decided I didn't want to be sexy. I wanted to NOT be totally embarrassed! So I watched the like 4 out of 30 folks who actually stayed on for some amount of time. The were not sexy they just tried to hold on. Now one lady looked to be crack-ish and I think that gave her an unfair advantage. One person was an athletic looking dude. For some reason every other dude who got up on that was portly. You already big why you tryna ride some bull with shades on after a couple beers in a dark room? Too fly! and so that is what he did...fly his monkey as off that bull! So finally my crew all decided if oe is going all are going. We did alright. Some of us were a bit tipsy so they did fall off quickly but they did look cute when falling! lol. One girl actually got her stank self up there with a skirt on and low and be hold (a sort one...some other nice lady had on a really long stretchy skirt as not to offend) back tot eh skank...all her bid-ness in the street! No DRAWERS!!!! All I can say on that is why you want your stuff all on that nasty bull? Now she prolly on you tube! But she was there with her man and she had a nice body so I guess if you got to go out like that it is better that the assets you are displaying are not ....well depreciated! Me? I held on a good lil while. had to make myself fall off cu I was too scared to let go of the rope! lol.I could hold on but I just got dizzier and wanted OFF. I kept yelling STOP STOP but I don't think I was very intelligible! All was well though, I stayed on and my bootie meat did not show one bit! My mama would have been proud of her lil country girl.
Yee. Haw!

Wolverine!

Review:
Opening sequencing was hot to death.
Rest of the movie was the worst in life with an honorable mention of Hugh Jackman's butt in one scene.
That is all.

Flirting With Danger

Since I don't sleep very well...I normally have a hell of a time waking up.
And If I don't remember why I am waking up early I will hit the snooze and sleep until my heart is content. Well this morning as per usual I set my alarm clock and my cell phone. I normally sleep with my cell phone as the loudness an vibration gets to me better than my clock radio. Well this morning as I was diving back into bed I didn't realize I'd left my cell on my pillow.....and it was waiting for my eyeball. Therefore I have jsut attempted to give myself a black eye. Now I started this blog before I even looked in the mirror. I could very well be a one eyed wonder for the day. So the moral of the story is if you sleep with sharp objects in your bed be careful when you dive in. I may not have a visible black eye but I know......this joint is throbbing!