Sunday, June 22, 2008

What is Wrong With These Women?

As per usual I find myself shopping in the mall. (with 85 cents but I digress) And of course this is couple-ville U.S.A. When my eye spots two walking so similar. But not two men or two women...(despite the rush to Cali to get hitched by all the non traditional or alternative lovers or what ever you want to call these children of God) but a man and a woman. So who cares right? I know I've had my fill of laughs at will and grace. But this appeared to be a couple. And this is not the first time. It is a growing epidemic. I don't know why the non celebrity have not learned a damn thang from Star Jones or Terri McMillan. I know a good employed black man without "fitty-leven" baby mamas are hard to find but sheesh ladies. Get a grip. Get a cut buddy. Lastly get a clue. This is NOT the road you wanna go down. Talk about potholes that can jack up your suspension. (Yeah go ahead and visualize how that analogy applies.)

There have got to be some signs that you look out for!
Here is a list of 5 things that should make you run....run from the natural disaster of dating/marrying a delusional gay man. ( I refuse to use that other term as it makes me sick!)

  1. When you are walking with your boo near a reflective surface and your hip motion is just like his or not as feminine or "switchy" as his.
  2. He sometimes lays on the bed to put on his jeans ....cause they are so tight
  3. He rolls his eyes and follows this up with a smack or sucking of the teeth when refering to you.
  4. He no longer wants any non anal sex. I mean NONE.
  5. All your friends think your man is gay...& you think HIS male friends are gay.
Now I am not the dream killer or a gay basher. All I'm saying is if you gon' be gay...be gay. Be the gayest you can be. And for the ladies....it is just not cute that our man styles your hair better than you. Functional yes. Sexy....I think NOT!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Favorites!!! Pt. 1

Many times in life we have to take pleasure in the little things. I say several times a day:
Thank GOD for small miracles. Some people some, products, some places, some seasons are just great....I mean the BEST! So this entry is dedicated to some of the products that help me get through the day. Talk about counting your blessings. When I started this I thought I was going to do a top 10. WRONG. I don't even have a final count. But at any rate. Let's get this list started, shall we?

Products:
Dove Deodorant: Cause really the skin under your armpits deserves to be all soft and "girly" too! Not to mention who likes all the damn school chalk under your arms when wearing a tank top. NOT SEXY.

Spanx: This refers only to the half slip and full slip thighs and in our culture this is a good thing. However when products. The whole footless control top pantyhose idea was lost and I mean LOST on me. I have been blessed with plenty of desiring smooth lines who wants to see that damn line around the thigh where the control stops? ANd pantyhose are already uncomfortable so why encourage wearing something just as uncomfortable...wait a minute this is a favorite post so let me stick with what I like. The dress slimmer is magic. Takes you down like half a size for those "goal" clothes we ladies have and like to squeeze into. A nice flouncy skirt looks sexier when it is smooth and getting...um into your boo-tay crevice.

Bath & Body Works Eucalyptus Spearmint Candles: I LOVE I mean LUV this scent. I have this candle burning almost every night when I get home. I also like the linen spray as well. It really calms me down. I was introduced to this via a gift because I normally hate anything minty (save a mojito). Mmmmm Mojito!

Berry Butter: Now I know everybody & their mama's are touting shea butter. Whether it is in a retail store or from the flea market. But this stuff is great to me. The variety of scents and the mix of shea with other basic natural ingredients makes it a great to use and it isn't all broken up in a plastic bag like at the flea market. I hate that. I feel all smooth and shiny! Just like I'm supposed to be!

V8 Fusion: Have you tried it? It is addicting. Healthy? Can you drink too much? If so don't spoil my dream by informing me of any down points. No one like a dream killer!

Strawberry Granola from BJ wholesale Club. This stuff is the best. Whether you eat it straight out of the bag or you add milk and eat it hot cereal style it is plain TASTY! I got to come up on a BJ's card....been mooching this stuff!

Pear's Soap. If you are say super sensitive in the areas that don't see the sun...this is it! I can only find it in weird locations but it is worth it to not be irritated & have a glycerin soap that lasts.

Kashi Autumn: Now it looks nasty. It isn't the most tasty cereal you will ever have. But it kicks mini-wheats ass. If you like high fiber content and trust me....it is something you pay attention to once you hit 30....than you may want to give this cereal a try.

These are the products that get me from week to week. It would have been too long to include services in this post. That will be favorites pt 2.